Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Just another window view :)

I am alive
But not living
A shadow in depths
I breath
But I’m not breathing
The air is just another thing
That goes by
Even that’s just a sound.
No meaning
Not a sentence or a word

I feel nothing,
I’ve loss the sense of sight and sound,
I’m just alive, passing
Not grabbing on the moments that fly by
Is this life?
How dull and uninteresting…

I could die right now
(Evacuating soul in 3,2,1….)
But I don’t
I’m still alive but not living…
Its dark and suffocating,
Like a blanket that can’t be removed
And when removed its jus the same,
No change,

I’m bored but can’t do anything,
I’m scared but can’t scream,
I’m happy but can’t smile,
I’m alive but not living.
Help me please?

Help me stranger
Help me move again
Help regain my senses,
My emotions my thoughts
Let me feel sorrow
Let me feel fear
Let me look my maker in the eye
And tell him I’m here

I’m ready stranger
I’m ready to move on
To make a difference
To grab at the mommets not let them move at all
I want to fly! I want to glide!
Push me off the edge of that cliff
Like a baby eagle
Give me my wings!
Let me fly!
Let me in to those gates
Let me scream and shout
Let me laugh and cry
Give me a tune, a simple tune,
Let me live, at last
No more monotone, or emptiness,
Let life crash through me
Like a waterfall
Crasing down to the rocks
In musical syncrohny
Sigh that is life
That is life.

Meninder Kaur
11.08 am

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Some thoughts :)

It’s been real long since I actually opened this laptop to write something:)

You it just recently hit me that I tease all my school leaving friends about schooling in the middle ages. You know the jungle trekking to get to school, the snake infested swamp, vampire teachers etc etc( ok maybe I exaggerate a little bit ) ok maybe a lot

But its just occurred to me, (how daft seeing as that I’m being continuously reminded that my entire future hangs in the balance) that I’m going to soon be joining those Darling friends of mine in the middle age society(lol)

Seriously, one moment I’m a toddler, next I’m spending two years in Indonesia, my primary school days end… and my secondary school chapeter is about to meet the same fate.

What have I done to make this leg of my Journey memorable?

Many things. Happy, sad, crazy things(love these), bizarre, successful and some even down right disastarous. And all those moments built up my life.

As I look back, I see so many things. I see 16 years worth of memories. I look at a photo of me when I was 3 years old and have this distinct longing just to crawl back into those times( which might explain my childish behaviour). I see love. I see some old rivalry. (if anyone didn’t got through the girls versus boys stage please shoot me in the head.) I see so many memories. Some painful others healing. But cherished memories all the same.

I look at my school mates and realize that I, not gonna be on that same environment in another 6 months time. Its gonna all change. Don’t get me wrong I’m exited to see what the world has in store for me but I’m not quite ready to give up what I have now. It sad to think that all kids are dying to grow up fast but all grown ups are praying for a reverse growth formual.

I guess that’s the mystery of time. It’s like sand you try holding in the palm of your hand. It has a funny way of slipping out and never returning. I guess that’s why so many people say just go with the flow.

Still its hard to imagine life without school, a vampire teacher, cartoon classmater(no offence guysJ), your true friends, and your crazy memories. Its hard, right now, to imagine not having to wake up at enearthly hours to make it to school.

Somehow though I have to find my wings and fly. Its time to end yet another chapeter of this journey and move to the next beginning. But not just yet.

Meninder Kaur from 10/June/2007,5.30 pm

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Little drops of water

Drops of water come falling for above,
I sit here in resign.
Seeing not but the farthest ends
Of fields and meadows far and wide
I lost some bonds
I thought would never break
I lost some sense of reason
A decision made without the clock
A decision made out of reason
Sad that I am I think not back
For days and time has passed
The raindrops keep falling from far above
Down the rabbits chute
To glories below
A microscopic dot
In the universe
But something so powerful.
Designing landscapes and feeding lives
A little drop of water
Can make a plant grow
And from that plant an animal will live
And so the cycle goes
As it climbs the top most point
Our existence comes to play
That drop of water down my back
Is the reason why I live
Depth of wondering minds
Brings about a sense of purpose
For in the moment I feel numb
I feel a thousand rivers
A thousand suns a thousand stars
I see what most choose not to
I sit here patiently with raindrops down my back
No longer do I sit resigned
For these little drops of water
That shape the mighty land
Taught me that this is not the end
Nor will it be for a long time.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

14th of february 2007 =P

I woke up this morning
And saw love all over again,
In the face of the mother
Protecting her brood
Wanting to rip the eyes of the bully
She fears not the brute
In the eyes of a father
Who saw all the worlds hardships
And chased the boogey man away
For his kids to smile again
On the lips of a lover
With golden words
Promising a promise
Of forever and a day
In the actions of teacher
Holding the future
Of our nations peace
In her very hands
I saw it in a kids delight
His joy at a small present
With unquestioned love
For everyone around him
Power beyond all
The four lettered word
Its beauty incomprehensible
Its wrath unheard .

Happy valentines day. From my heart to yours. Today when you say I Love You to anyone, say it with all your heart and say it with true feeling. Don’t analyse your feelings. Just go with the flow.
God bless.

Meninder =)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Take a breath,
Let rivers flow let the sky weep.
In and out it goes,
The world moves with a beat

Every breath taken is another breath lost
So breath like you have never breathed before,
Life itself s so precious like pearls
Once gone forever lost

Live your life for now and forever,
Never stop living at al
Don’t lose the moments or mope for those lost
Just breathe in and out with conviction

Stand up and stand like you have never stood before.
Listen to the sound of your breath in and out.
This is the moment so take the plunge.
Breathe the breath of life, breathe like you have never breathed before.

Meninder Kaur

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

She's buying the stairway to heaven.

Every morning I pass the same sights and sounds. I meet without really meeting people that are the same but different destinations. I'm so used to just driving straight pass these sights that even if something changed, the view i had would still stay the same.Its not ignorance.It is just monotone.

Every day i walk to the same class,study with the same people and do the same things. I live life in a routine.sure it can change sometimes yet when its over things go back to normal.


Then came 16 January 2008. When things changed a little more for the better and a little more for the worse.

Weird how life takes a change doesnt it?

"There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.
There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure '
Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder, Ooh, it makes me wonder."

Life has 2 paths we can always go buy. There always be choices. Am i making the right choice to say? Have i done what i can?Do I even know what i want right now?

Mysterious it is this miracle of life.

We sometimes know that the choices we make has major impacts in our life.And yet we still walk on those parts of our lives. We get caught up in the momments and we forget our sense of reason. Sometimes our choices make us forget who we are.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder, Ooh, it really makes me wonder.
And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter. "

Do you remember laughter? As a child when we were told of a pied piper who would lead us away just by playing his merry tune. Our innocense as kids when we used to remember the boogey man. Today i look at the courtyard and i saw all the kids in the world playing games with their friends and i long to be them again. To reserruct my childhood and to be able to run around with everyone else. Not worrying about deadlines and all other problems. To be able to have fun again.

"If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.
Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind. "

Is there time to change? I begin to ponder and wonder on that two phrases in the song. Is there time to mov on with life? Covering past mistakes and understanding and experiencing new ones?or has my life gone beyond all that.

"And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll"

Yes there is time. There is a life that i need to lead and to me life must go on. There is happiness and there is hope. There is a life I lead with all that i need. Here i am walking and wanting to walk some more. Wanting to shout to the world that hey this is life. Meant for the living. I have my answersright here right now. And yes this is life. Today right now,right at this momment.I live and breathe alive.

" And she's buying a stairway to heaven."

Saturday, January 5, 2008


Deep breathes short rasps
Just waiting
Heavens peak may call
And yet I’m still waiting
Waiting even if hells core
Comes knocking at my door
I’m waiting
Waiting for the moon to blush crimson
Or the sky to turn green
I’m waiting
I shall never tire for waiting
If waiting brings answers
I will continue waiting
I am not weary nor resigned
So I shall sit here patiently

Meninder Kaur